Muy Ch'nam, howee. Muy Ch'nam, tdee'ut.

1 year, already. 1 year, more.

Yay selling amazing little things she made out of probably banana leaves.


This year flew by but if you asked the past-Laura, Laura in January for example, she would say that time was CRAWLING by. It's odd how time in this country creeps along. It was really difficult to get this particular blog post started because I was, first of all, worried that I don't have a lot to show for after a whole year in Peace Corps. And second of all, where do I even begin? There is actually a lot to say but how does one sum up a year of being pulled up from the roots and dropped into an unknown land?

little girl strolling in Kampot town


BOOKS. I read a personal record number of books this past year....Approximately 25 books so far. That's an average of about 2 books per month. Way better than my reading average in USA of about 2 books every 4 months or so. Reading now takes precedent over movie and TV show watching for me. I consider this great progress toward improved brain nourishment. I'm trying to read all the books I should have read during middle school, high school, and college. I am not well-read and am severely lacking the the Classics department. So PLEASE! If you have any recommendations, please send them my way. Must feed brain.

LANGUAGE! Huh, I guess that could be considered somewhat significant. A little over a year ago, I had trouble saying "hello" in Khmer. Now, I can make my way through a day in a village; eat breakfast at the market, chat with folks at the coffee shop, and awkwardly try to explain student loans to the health center staff IN KHMER! Luckily, I continue to learn more each day. I have a long way to go but I am happy with my language skills at this point. There are more than 12 million people that speak Khmer in the world. Out of a population of over 7 billion people, I'd say it's something to be proud of to speak such an antiquated language. Soksabaii. Happy healthy.

Khmer Family. Living with a Khmer family was one of my biggest challenges and stressors this year. It was most difficult because I went from living somewhat on my own for practically 7 years, to living within a household in a completely different cultural context than my own. I lost control of when and what I ate on a daily basis. I no longer had free reign over my own room - decorating, nesting, etc. I was also moved around from room to room within the house and that was stressful and confusing to me.

My Lovely Host Parents: Sok Sovanara & Srey Kompeak


After all the stress and confusion settled at home, I was able to realize that I could not/would not trade my adoptive Khmer family for another one. My host mom and I have a special connection and she was the first one to ever mention this. I do things that I usually would not do for her, because I want to make her happy. It's the least I can do since she welcomed me into her home, feeds me more than enough food, and is always making sure I am happy. And she continues to remind me "Kom kut ch'raan" or "don't think too much." These words have now become a personal mantra that I think to myself when I am indeed "thinking too much."

Speaking of feeding me: My host mom just gave me some bananas...


This past year, I watched my little host brother Theva grow up right before my eyes. He was a shy, chubby, silly 13 year old boy when I first met him. He is slowly growing into a young man; growing taller and stretching the chubbiness out, his voice is lower, and he's more confident with each day. I watched my host sister Srey Neang's pregnant belly grow and felt helpless when she suffered with unending nausea and morning (or evening) sickness. She gave birth in May to a sweet little girl that they call Lita. I get to watch her and her husband raise the little one and I am impressed with their parenting skills. I'm happy to report that she is already a smart, happy, and healthy baby.

Travel. I never imagined I would be serving the Peace Corps in South East Asia but I must say, I am lucky. This side of the world is incredible. So much history and such a different cultural setting than I've ever experienced. I am also so close to places I only dreamed of visiting. India for one, I previously treated as a travel "hoop-dream". I didn't think I'd get a chance to travel to India until much later in my life but lo! and behold! I made my way through southern India earlier this year and plan on returning to explore the northern parts of India in the future.

Bike adventures are endless.


Something even more surprising to me, is all the wonders that Cambodia contains in such a small and somewhat modest country. Most of us are aware of Angkor Wat which I not only had the privilege to see but I also ran my first half marathon all around the fallen Empire. Not many people can say that. Beyond the deep-seated history that I'm fortunate to be surrounded by, I also have access to rivers, the Gulf of Thailand, the ocean (well, South China Sea...) and ISLANDS! I'm practically in paradise.

Cans on Cans on Cans - life on the island is tough.


Food. For the most part, I have not been disappointed by food in this country. EXCEPT FOR THE EXCESS OF RICE but that's a rant for another day. My host mom is an excellent cook and I am very seriously excited every night for our meals together. This is also when I finally get to spend quality time with my host family since everyone is busy throughout the day. The most unexpected foods that I LOVE and never thought I'd be eating are as follows (in order of most favorite):

1. Frogs. Especially when they are in this soup that includes lemon grass, chili peppers, basil, and other things unknown to me.
2. Baan Chaiov (especially with fried quivtio noodles(thick white noodles)) I've talked about this one before - it's like a Khmer crepe and so so good.) I can get this number for about 37 cents at my market. Mmmmmm Khmer breakfast......
3. Fish. Some fish, particularly when it comes from either the sea, the Mekong, or Tonle Sap. These fish are big, with beautiful white flesh, and fewer choking-hazard-bones. We eat this fish with SPICY tuk trai (fish sauce) and fresh veggies. My mouth is watering just thinking about this meal.
4. Sautéed pumpkin vine.
5. Sautéed Trakuon (morning glory but not the morning glory you're thinking of.)
6. And watermelon still surprises me. I never thought I would get over the texture of this fruit but now I can eat an entire watermelon in one sitting (they're a little smaller here...)

And then there are the foods that I've tried because I pretty much try anything within reason, but for whatever reason, just don't know how to eat. "Aut je nyam" is a wonderful phrase that Khmer people use when they are not particularly fond of a certain food. It means I don't know how to eat that. It's a great tool here except it doesn't always work on my host mom. Sometimes, regardless of whether I say "aut je nyam" or not, she might just pile something on my plate and say "nyam baan tic, nyam baan tic!" or "just eat a little." Well....if you insist.

I do not know how to eat:
1. ANTS! I hate ants. SO MUCH! They are likely to take over this country any time now. Unless Khmer people continue to eat them...but I will not eat them...so I will just encourage others to eat them for me. But Khmer people LOVE ants. And these ants are gigantic! About the size of a baby hippopotamus. They especially love them in a sour ant soup. This is the best way to eat ants because sometimes when I am humoring my host mom by eating a spoonful, the ant's claws will hook onto my lips and hang there. In complete disgust and fear, I TEAR the ant off of my lip and throw it on the ground, all the while maintaining a presence of complete calm and composure in front of my host family. Ahhh...they didn't even notice me freak out...

2. Other bugs; crickets (because they resemble cockroaches way too much) and cockroaches, I don't eat them. I do want to try a fried tarantula though. Soon.
3. Prahok. Some forms of this are tolerable but not beyond 2-4 bites.
4. Creatures with shells or protective homes surrounding their bodies. I will eat them but not always with delight. Snails - least like. Shellfish - not bad.
5. Raw-ish shrimp. I did this once because my host dad was doing it. It was not pleasant and I was slightly unhappy when I realized everyone else in my host family thought it was weird and gross.

And last but not least...

WORK. This was what I was loathing to summarize when I started this blog post. I had some failed attempts at work this year. I am most disappointed in my lack of follow through with teaching at the primary school. I was really looking forward to this before I actually got into the school and started "teaching." The first couple of weeks was fulfilling enough, especially compared to what I wasn't doing at the health center. My favorite part about teaching was leaving the school at the end of my lesson...because I had 6 million children trying to hold my hand as I walked to my house. But there were so many factors that led me to believe that teaching is NOT my forte. This was hard for me to accept. I was a teacher for all of my stuffed animals sitting in their makeshift desks made from drawers of my old creaky dresser when I was six years old. I never failed my stuffed animals; how could I fail my real-live-breathing-children that consider me a celebrity?

Like I said, teaching is not my forte as far as I know and without proper training on HOW to teach I won't really know. I am not interested in preparing lessons; I prefer to "wing-it." And very seriously: how does one ACTUALLY TEACH? It's simply beyond me at this point. I applaud those that know the secret. Besides that, the "classes" I was teaching were not organized in any way, shape, or form. Kids of all ages continued to pile into the library and most of them were not paying attention to me. The teachers in the back of the room wanted me to teach them English but for some reason they could not fathom having a separate lesson from the kids at a different time. In the end, I was fed up and stopped showing up. I'm not proud of this but on the other hand, I started to find a place in the health center and finally felt good about it.

Sit! Good baby.


It's not a lot to brag about but I really LOVE weighing babies. I now feel confident enough to approach mothers coming to the health center and I ask them what they are there for. Most of the mothers are there for vaccinations for their babes. So I bring the moms and babes to the vaccination room, weigh the babes, and mark their weight on the growth monitoring chart. I mention whether or not the child is at a healthy weight for their age and try to give advice if the baby is under weight. My main goal in doing this is to show the health center staff that I do this EVERY TIME A BABY COMES IN TO GET A VACCINATION. Not once in a while (yu yu m'dong.) Every damn dong! (Every damn time!) Consistency. I hope that the health center staff will take note of what I'm doing and eventually start doing it themselves and do it even better because they speak Khmer quite better than me. And hopefully they will be able to encourage mothers to pay more attention to what their babes are eating or not eating.
I heart you.


My time at the health center everyday is short. There is just not enough for me to do. Luckily I've supplemented my work load by taking on illustration jobs. I have been drawing some of the most dull, and strange, and repetitive drawings that will be used in training manuals for present and future Peace Corps Cambodia volunteers. I really like doing this. Sometimes I feel like my eyes are bleeding by the time I'm finished with a handful of organs or proper first aid drawings but it's worth it. It's going to be nice to see all of my drawings nicely placed within the pages of manuals that will make the lives of Health Education volunteers much easier. (Hopefully.)

This babies name is "Laura (Lo-rah in Khmer)"


I helped a neighboring health center get a new latrine built - the conclusion to this project can be found HERE.

My health center will be getting a make-over in September thanks to the US Navy. A couple Navy engineers and US Embassy employees visited the Tramkok health center earlier this month and made an assessment on what could be repaired based on a $200K grant for humanitarian assistance construction within Takeo province. My health center director was hoping for a lot of new things, including a new roof for our secondary building. When the engineers looked at the 35 year old building, they all cringed a little. If the roof was torn off to build a new one, it would not happen because the building itself is too dangerous. The building is falling apart. So I wrote up a proposal to get the old building demolished and replaced! If this proposal gets approved, the building should be completed in two years. I might not be here by the time the grand opening happens, but I am so happy to even have a chance of this happening for the Tramkok health center. We hope.

Howee. I think I am done summarizing my year. It was so hard to start this summary but it was almost harder to stop once I got started.

My neighbors dog (my best friend): he's deaf and a cartoon. I love him.


Peace.
Love.
Dove.

CP. My introduction to Khmer culture

You can get any entry-level job with a Bachelor's degree; even if your BA is a BA in Women's Studies and Studio Art. Or so they say. And my very own BA lead to me an unusual and unexpected post-college job adventure: A Pirate Hospital. Just kidding, that's an inside joke only a few special people will understand. Sorry.

No no no, my BA led me to a job at a Non-profit organization called Opportunity Parters and a peculiar place within the organization called TBI Metro Services. TBI stands for Traumatic Brain Injury and before I had my interview, I honestly thought I would be working in a hospital doing some sort of rehabilitation with people recovering from accidents. Once I pulled up to the HUB strip mall in Richfield I felt even more peculiar because previously I only visited the HUB to shop at Marshall's (cool deals and HOT fashion!) Now I was walking into an office I never knew existed, squished nicely between the Walgreens (get all your post-Holiday candy deals here!) and China Garden (Chinese restaurant. don't go there.)

Co-worker Elliott & I shopping at Marshall's (it's our lunch break, okay?!)


Long story, short: I got the job and was only slightly disappointed that it wasn't a Pirate hospital (or was it...?) I spent three challenging, inspiring, frustrating, and hilarious years there. I made friends with co-workers that I plan on being friends with for FOREVER. I became, to some extent, obsessed with brain injuries. I became obsessed with the possibility of getting one myself, my family and friends getting one, and obsessed with the reality of brain injury.

Demonstrating PROFESSIONALISM with co-workers Elliott & Veronica


But a brain injury isn't necessarily something you "get" like an STD or an A+ on an exam. A brain injury can happen to anyone and it doesn't take much. And that's one of the main reasons I was/am so obsessed with brain injuries. Also I'm a little bit of a worry wart. (What? Me worry?)

Me demonstrating that smoking previously-smoked cigarets from the bottom of the ashtray is a disgusting habit!


What mattered the most to me at TBI Metro Services was not the lesson and eternal fear I gained but the people I worked with. The people that endured extreme emotional and physical pain; a life altering event that brought them back to zero. They had to rebuild their life, limb by limb, and for some, their previous live's were never completely gained back.

Back in 2009, on one of my first days on the job, I met a woman I will call CP. She has a brain injury. She is also from Cambodia. She immediately made an impression on me. She wasn't afraid to talk to me and introduce herself. She made me feel welcome right away. However, the more I got to know her, the more complicated and challenging my job became.

Little did I know how fortuitous our connection would later become.

CP is a lovable woman that loves music, especially loud, heavy-beat music. She loves food. But mostly she LOVES gum. Chewing gum, being one of my most HATED inventions in the entire world, was on the other hand, what kept CP motivated throughout the working day. She had a gum-rationing schedule for her three hour shift. And who else was in charge of portioning out her gum other than ME? Yes. This was truly a test. CP's brain performed like clockwork. If I was a minute late in giving her a stick of gum, I would get a long cold stare and a "HUMPH! Lo-RAH. MY GUM?!" from CP. Upon receiving her gum, CP would let out a cackle of delight, "AH-HA!" and continue with her work. And she was an incredible worker; she worked quickly but created quality work. She wanted to make a lot of money and usually kept great focus on her work in order to make as much money as possible. The work she did was piece-work, meaning she was paid for how much she completed within her three hour shift. It was not much pay but it gave her pride. She knew she was a good worker.

CP kept things interesting for me, in both positive and sometimes negative ways. One day I went to the restroom, and used the accessible stall since the other was occupied. It didn't take me long to realize CP was in the stall next to me when suddenly bouncing off the small restroom walls was "BOOM!!!!!!!!!...shakalaka shakalaka." And then laughter from both stalls. (or was she singing this one??) Other days were more frustrating, like the day CP was sitting across from me while I was probably secretly eating M&Ms from a giant bag hidden in my desk drawer. CP says casually to me "Laura....you got fat." Hmm...not something I ever like to hear, but she was right. I was getting lazy sitting at a desk all day and had way too easy access to candy from Walgreens next door. I needed to get back in shape. And that was enough to get my ass back into gear.

So CP didn't have much of a censor when it came to expressing her personal opinion. She also had trouble controlling the volume of her voice (I too have trouble with this one...) Personal space was a difficult concept for her to wrap her head around. She loved pregnant women and touching their bellies! It was almost as irresistible as stealing other people's food. She wanted to touch everyone, to hug people, to pat them on their backs when she was happy to see them. But her "pats" were more like slaps and often upset other people.

CP's love for music was intriguing. She often listened to gangster rap, but other times she'd listen to classic Khmer music. But no matter what, she was equipped with headphones that nearly swallowed her head whole; they were heavy-duty. On another particularly memorable day with CP, she forgot her MP3 player but had her headphones and requested that I play music for her using my laptop. And by "music" what she really meant was listen to Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" consecutively for her three hour shift. If I accidentally let the playlist skip to the next non-"Whip-my-hair" song, I received a long cold stare from CP and an obstinate "LAURA! whip. my. hair!!!"

Then April 30th, 2012 came and with it came the long awaited invitation from Peace Corps. Cambodia? Yeah, sure! I gave my employer a month's notice and then I started talking with CP's guardian to see if I could act as a buddy/mentor/volunteer person for her once I stopped working at TBI Metro Services. This was actually something I had in mind to do before I ever knew I'd finally become a Peace Corps volunteer. I knew that I wanted to be a buddy/mentor/person for CP because she was special to me from the start.

It was all set up, I finished jobbing all my jobs and had a month until I left the USA for 2+ years. With all my free time, I worked on PC shenanigans (paperwork...and the awful pre-departure materials), ate brunch with friends (finally!) and I hung out with CP. We took my dog on walks all the way around Lake Phalen, went to the Rosedale mall and looked at wigs, and we ate dinner at her mom's house. During this short time with CP I learned a lot about her history. She left Cambodia when she was 5 years old; she and her immediate family were able to escape the horrors of the Khmer Rouge. She has three wonderful children that care for her dearly but also struggle with her, her brain injury, and CP's other health problems. The day I met CP's mother, she just happened to be returning from her yearly trip to Cambodia. Her mom wore comfy pajamas and Khmer-squatted in front of a box full of Khmer goodies that I now know all too well: kilos of smelly dried fish (EEW.), mango fruit leather (OH MY GAWD SO GOOOOD.), and fermented mango...to name a few. And then we ate rice.

This one-on-one time with CP was a small yet meaningful segue into Khmer culture for me. CP helped me and hopefully she got something out of our time together too. I asked CP Khmer words which slipped out of my brain almost instantaneously. She talked about traveling back to Cambodia again someday since the last time she visited was in the 1990s. I hope she gets that chance soon.

While working with CP, I always thought her tendencies were more brain injury specific. But now, I realize that the most distinct characteristics were actually more Khmer than anything. She is Khmer, through and through, regardless of her upbringing being mostly in America. Her very Khmer characteristics are intensified with the presence of the brain injury. And the characteristics of her brain injury are fairly common. Her biggest obstacle is with impulse control which unfortunately makes a big impact on her life every single day. Fortunately CP has amazing support systems in her life - family, friends, behavior services, work, and wonderful group home staff.

A preemptive Khmer lesson: Pre-Cambodia


It didn't take a long time of living in Cambodia for me to learn how Khmer CP actually is. For example, the birth of Gangnam style is now the bane of every PCV living in Cambodia. The song has only lately calmed down in this country. Everyone LOVES the damn song and NO ONE is ashamed to play it consecutively at weddings, birthday parties, or blasting it loudly at 6AM to open up their shop. CP's insistence to listen to "Whip My Hair" nonstop makes a little more sense to me now. (Gangnam style is the worst thing ever but watch this video to the end, it's for a good cause. seriously.)

Marriage proposals and questioning about one's marital status is something I encounter EVERY SINGLE DAY in Cambodia (actually more questioning than proposals.) My friend and co-worker Elliott used to get proposals from CP to marry her cousin in Cambodia. Her cousin was only 16 years old but when she came to America, she could change her age so it wouldn't be illegal (according to CP.) I received a very similar proposal from my neighbor at a party recently. For both Elliott and myself, it was easiest to just nod our heads and go along with such propositions.

I love my family. More preemptive Khmer learning


But hands down, the most honorable Khmer characteristic that CP exhibits is that of great loyalty to family. CP does not make a lot of money, but regardless, she is adamant about sending money to her family members in Cambodia. At times CP struggles to focus on anything more than money and how small her paycheck is at times, but it is all because she wants to have enough to send back home. Many families I talk to in my village have brothers or sisters in America and everyone of them sends money through Money Gram or Western Union on a monthly basis back to their family in Cambodia. What those brothers and sisters earn in America is very small compared to the average salary but in Cambodia it is so much more. It keeps the family connected and supports them beyond what is possible in Cambodia.

The most distinct and lovely characteristics about Khmer culture is the value of family, the generosity of the people and their smiles. And I was so lucky to receive an introductory course on Cambodia from CP. Speaking of which, I need to call her.

Doodle of CP
Looking back, my time at TBI Metro Services was an invaluable learning experience for me. My co-workers, the people, and the daily challenges made me more assertive, mindful, and patient. These have been useful characteristics in my Peace Corps service so far.

Job well done fellow worker person. Teaching proper handshakes.