DA FUNK.

Something's missing.



I don't know if it's the post-vacation-blues, that time of the month, the change in weather (Cambodia's winter is over already? What about this polar vortex everyone is talking about on the internets???), the reality of a PCVs life and being away from home for so long (or all of the above) but I've been in a funk. And it's funky but not in the groovy kind of way.

Selfie on the island?



And let's be totally honest here, the funk began before my exotic vacation to an island and the Cancun-Style-Spring-Break-New Year's Eve celebration that followed. But a strange and mysterious back injury which occurred possibly during an impromptu acrobatic act during said vacation has only aggravated my funk and led me to vices that are both delicious and shameful. I was in grand shape before Christmas but (I'm sure many volunteers can attest to this) being away from home during the holidays makes me feel inadequate and when I feel inadequate, all I want to do is stuff my face. And drink beer. (And hermit myself, but we'll get to that later.) Bad/good? news: when certain people in your village know that you can drink an occasional beer, they will make you drink many occasional beers at one time and then stuff you full of duck meat (AND DON'T FORGET THE RICE!!!!)

After vacations or any trips away from my village, whether short or long, I allot myself one (or two...) days of sleeping all day or watching movies all day or interneting all day, just to reenergize and get back into the zone. The super-awesome-ambitious-volunteer-zone which I still haven't quite yet fully harnessed or mastered. This I did and following my recuperation day I felt jovial and happy to be back in the village. But the next day that feeling disappeared and was replaced with an increased pain in my back and intense desire to not leave my room. (Which reminds me of a shirt I saw a girl at the market wearing “I have the strong desire to crawl back into the womb” WHO IS MAKING THESE SHIRTS!?!? I must know!)

AND WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET INTO THE SUPER-AWESOME-AMBITIONS-VOLUNTEER-ZONE?



A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.



AND I'M IN THE ZONE.



This back pain was only provoked more by my Jillian Michaels 6-week six-pack Abs Workout and hurts all the time now. It hurts to lay down, it hurts when I run, it even hurts when I clear my throat (what? But why?!) So I've had to lay off on my workout routine which is a really big bummer considering how awesome I was doing just a month ago. I've replaced my previous workout routine with watching episodes of Modern Family (I have to admit, I kinda like it. Can I marry Phil please?) and eating Peanut M&Ms in bed. And as much as I appreciate the kindness of my veteran RPCV friends sending M&Ms in packages (Thank you Stewart, Bret, & Ashley! Me heart you), I must say it's really taking a toll on my hot bod. And there's really no way to stop eating M&Ms. You know you're a goner when you open that giant bag. You know you shouldn't do it. You know there's no way in hell you're just eating one handful and then leaving the bag alone until tomorrow. You're going to keep returning to that giant bag a couple times within one 20 minute episode where Gloria and her big boobs and perfect smile are doing something really sweet and surprisingly perceptive.

(Note to friends and family: When I die, bury me in a bed of M&Ms.)

M&M CRISIS.



M&M MELTDOWN.



I watched several episodes of Modern Family at 6AM (when I normally do Jillian), went to the health center as usual, and then went back home as soon as possible to watch more Modern Family and play on the internet before lunch. An email from a friend made me all weepy and for no explicable reason! So to make myself feel better, I tried to make myself look super busy to other people around me. And that meant washing my clothes. (Some people in my village think that I only run and that's my job. Which I'd like to think it is...)
*CONFESSION: I am a spoiled-jerk-volunteer. My host family, they “nek mien” which means “they have” or they rich. In turn, that means they own luxury items such as two Toyota Camrys, a refrigerator, and a washing machine. I'd bargain to say that many volunteers that know this fact about me, loath me just a little bit because I do not have to wash my clothes by hand. Ever. BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT! BLAME PEACE CORPS! I did not choose to live in this Cambodian mansion. I am not the enemy!

[Insert photo of washing machine here] CAN'T FIND.

(**Americans: next time you look at your pile of dirty laundry and get annoyed because you have to dump it in a washer, shut the little door, push a button, and forget about them for an hour, think, just for a moment, of all the poor Peace Corps Volunteers all around the world that are getting blisters on their hands from hand washing their red-dirt stained clothes once a week. Appreciate, no, WORSHIP this magical machine because it is probably the most magnificent appliance you will ever own.**)

I quietly weeped behind my Tom & Jerry bed sheets because...I don't know why, I felt sorry for myself? Why so weepy? Oh yeah, was it the post-vacation-blues? No, I think I'm over that. That time of the month? Well, yes but whatever, I can cry when I want damnit! Leave me alone!!! The change in the weather? Nah, but as far as I'm concerned, it's perpetually summer here and that can make anyone go a little nutzo. Legit seasons give you something to look forward to or dread, whatevs. So what is it, Laura? Why do you feel this way? Why the funk?

I can't give you a straight answer because I do believe it was F. All of the above. A composition of too many things, making it difficult to really discern why the funk exists.

But let me tell you about this weird natural occurrence that I believe happens to many volunteers. You can wake up in whatever mood – Happy, sappy, annoyed, whatever – and then have one single encounter that can throw you way off of your center. Today I was thrown into the pool where it was between 5ft and 6ft deep which is a little too deep for comfort for a 5'2” person. But I was able to doggie paddle for a while and finally find a place to step flat-footed. (note: figurative pool)

In a normal world, emotions generally stay fairly steady within one given day. But in the day in the life of a PCV, your emotions are a cascading roller-coaster that is falling apart while still moving forward and upside-down at 60mph. You can be laughing one second and then crying the next minute because your favorite breakfast lady wasn't at the market and your flip-flop fell off when you were trying to get moving on your bike. It doesn't take a lot. But even if you did cry an hour ago, another encounter might flip you right back on track on that rickety old roller-coaster.

For me, it took a moment of cross-cultural sharing with my neighbors. They're daughter is getting married on Saturday which I am both looking forward to but also not looking forward to at all because a wedding next door means no silence for approximately 3 days. They asked me if weddings were the same in America and I did not have the words or the energy to explain in Khmer how they are very different so I grabbed my computer instead. I showed them pictures of my friend Caitlin's wedding because her wedding was classic but also very indicative of America's uniqueness. Many Khmer people have their assumptions of America and I wanted to show them how diverse it is. Sharing the wedding photos turned into an hour long slide show which I really enjoyed. I think my neighbors did too but it's sometimes hard to tell these things.


Caitlin & Hubby Sugi Dancing like champions.




And then I rewarded myself with more episodes of Modern Family and later, a run through the village. Fortunately, my back pain is lessening and during my run positive thoughts flowed through my brain. I was reminded that it doesn't take a lot to connect with people in my village and I have to stop being so afraid to do it. I have to stop watching so much TV (after I finish this last disc) and stop eating so many M&Ms (once I'm done with that last bag...) and go outside and just hang out with people. Don't be such a dope, Laura!

Now get the FUNK outta here! I love you.

MOM

It's been a while since I've updated this little bloggie and I feel bad like I've neglected someone. I'm not sure who I'd be neglecting because I'm not sure how many back home or anywhere are really reading my blog. Either way, I've definitely wanted to write more but haven't felt truly inspired by any particular events. This is not to say nothing inspiring happened in the last month. A lot happened this past month. Most noteworthy was My mom, momma jo (I never call her that), came to visit me in Cambodia. That's a pretty big deal. PBD.

There are a number of reasons why my mom is awesome other than the fact that she took a big risk to visit me all the way over here.

My mom is a trooper. I can see where I got my skills in adaptability since my mom came all the way to the other side of the world just to see me. A world I'm sure she never really cared to see for herself in real life before I was assigned to Cambodia. Movies are fine for that. But she did it! And I'm amazed by how willing she was to try new and weird things without much fuss/really no fuss at all (she's not a fussy lady.)

For example: Mom went to a Khmer wedding on her second full day in country. I didn't get to go to my first wedding until my 6th month in country! And Khmer weddings are a thing to see. She missed out on the ceremonial aspects of the wedding - the hair cutting, the fruit counting, the...costume changes. But she did get to try wedding food (raved about by all PCVs) and observe Khmer dancing (slightly loathed by many PCVs.) Regardless of her sometimes very sensitive stomach, she tried almost all of the 8 courses during dinner. She even ate what might have been baby pigeons or quails or other innocent bird. NBD, she's a badass.

Khmer Wedding Dinner: to the left you'll see the bird carcasses with greens and in front of that some pickled vegetables of some sort. DELISSSSCIOUS. Also look at my cute PCV friends: JILL, EMMA, ETC.


Mom kept up with the beer drinking (it's competitive over here) along with the 20 Peace Corps volunteers that she just met. She did not dance but she enjoyed observing the dancing around the table (10,000,000 times. make it stop!!! for the love of god make it stop!!!) (She was mostly observing my awesome dance moves. WHO CAN BLAME HER?)

I know this photo looks incriminating but I assure you, Greg is not slapping my bottom. I'm dancing with the little chub boy named Linee.



Who let her on stage!?! nobody stopped meeeeeeee!!! hahahahaaaaa!!!!


Example #2. The next day, Mom tried my favorite Khmer food, Ban Chaio. I eat it for breakfast maybe two times a week. It's like a crepe but filled with sprouts and perhaps pork? And to top it off, the lady I get it from gives me cha quitio which is a long fried noodle. It's my jam. I'd eat it more often if I felt like spending the 36 cents everyday...HA! (Classic Cheap PCV.) Again, mom ate this and seemed to enjoy it regardless of the potential disaster it could cause later on. Just like me! I don't care if it gives me diarrhea, I WANNA EAT IT!!! Sorry...too much information.

THANK YOU INTERNET GODS FOR FINDING A NICE PHOTO OF BAN CHAIO FOR ME.


Example #3 (of why my my mom is a trooper. In case you forgot.) Following our delicious Khmer breakfast, we hopped in a taxi to Phnom Penh with my two PCV friends, Kateri and Margaret. Oh and this isn't like those fancy schmancy taxis you bourgeoisie people ride in the US of A where the taxi is yellow and says "Taxi" on the side of the vehicle. No, this Khmer taxi is just a crusted old Camry with nothing to distinguish it from all the other crusty Camrys. And we're in NO WAY comfortable. Kateri, Margaret, and mom are squished in the back and I'm kind of hovering over all of them/kneeling on one knee and resting the rest of my body on the others. The driver is sitting with a guy to his left and there are two people in the front passenger seat. I was questioning whether or not I would put my mom through this kind of torture but I did just so we could get our adventure to Siem Reap started as soon as possible. Sorry mom. None of us felt 100% on this taxi ride, to say the least. Yay Cambodia!!!!

Me and My momma in Phnom Penh: Sabaii jet k'nea.


In Siem Reap, we enjoyed amenities that can be likened to a more Western part of the world. We had an adorable room at the Golden Banana Bed & Breakfast (really nice place, check it out.) We ate Mexican food which makes me a little uneasy but my fajitas were surprisingly decent. Mom was disappointed in the Margarita. The temples delivered the Ancient goods and as usual, did not disappoint. When mom was asked whether or not she liked going to the temples she responded with "Oh yeah!" and that's about the most enthusiasm I've ever seen out of her. Her go-to response to questions about mood is "oh, swell" so to hear her say "Oh yeah!" pleased me greatly. Yay! Mom had fun!

CUTE WINDOW FROM CUTE GOLDEN BANANA B&B


After the more than uncomfortable taxi ride to PP and the 6 hour hot-small-seated-bus ride to Siem Reap, I thought we should spoil ourselves and take the Giant Ibis back down south. It's what all the "barangs" ride, one of those bourgeoisie rides in which a chocolate crescent, supposed free WI-FI, and extremely good AC are included in the ticket purchase.

Example #4: Mom was awesome with my host family and people in my village. I don't know if I told her this before she left but I was impressed by her ability to interact with people even though she could say only one word in Khmer. Akhoon = Thank you. While I was getting made-up for the wedding, she hung out with my crew of little girls (my BFFs in my village) and did exactly as I would do. She drew pictures with them and made silly jokes with them even though they didn't understand a thing she was saying. You are awesome, mom.

Mom: THE INTEGRATION MASTER.


Example #5, Mom likes beer. There's nothing more satisfying than getting an ice cold pitcher of beer after toasting under the HOT-ASS sun. And it made me so happy when my mom would make the beer-drinking suggestion before me. "Thank you! You're reading my mind." And you can't go wrong with a pitcher for $2.50.

Example #6, Mom is brave. It may not seem that brave to sign up for a package boat ride to some super exotic tropical islands but there were some things that required bravery. First of all, that boat was crazy rockin'. At one point, all of the bar stools fell over because of the extreme wavage (made that word up) we were experiencing. Along with the bar stools fell some decorative shells and my mom thought it was imperative to save the shell. So mom let go of the boat and reached down to grab the shell and in the process her chair tipped over and she slammed into a fallen bar stool. Oh, mom. You are hilarious. She had a wicked bump/bruise after she rescued the shell. And it's a good thing she saved that shell!

We also went snorkeling which is an activity that I enjoy but also fear with a subdued intensity. While I was talking myself through the snorkeling process ("Breathe slowly, Laura. You're NOT going to die as long as you keep breathing") my mom was floating along with her waterproof camera taking photos of coral and fishes. Why can't I be more like my mom? (IS THAT THE FIRST TIME ANY WOMAN HAS EVER ASKED THAT QUESTION?) Why am I a big ball of anxiety?! We can't have it all...

Mom also got her feet chewed up by pirañas:

new feet.


In conclusion, I had an awesome time with mom even when she drove me a little crazy sometimes. It was a good crazy. It's a crazy contributed to proximity to a person. And being a PCV, I'm rarely not alone. (I'm not sure how to phrase that not-awkwardly...or that...as a matter of fact.) So being around the same person 24/7 for two weeks set me off my regular track of loneliness but it was totally worth it. My mom is easy going and likes to try new things. That's the definition of a good person to travel with.

And to really conclude this blog, here's some Kh-spanglish for ya:

Khnom estoy contenta-jet.

"Hey girl, how you doin?"

SIEM REAP - a tale of horror, extreme happiness, and some pain

I had my first two official vacations in Cambodia this past week/weekend. First vacation took place in the provincial town of Kampot which is in southern Cambodia and only about 2 hours from my village. Vacation number two was way up North in Siem Reap which holds the 8th wonder of the world: Angkor Wat. And guess what? I didn't take a single photo while I was wandering the 8th wonder of the world.

I did, however, take photos while in Kampot town. The highlight of this trip was the relaxing sunset stroll (can you stroll in a boat?) up and down Kampong Bay River which runs through the middle of the town. I plan on taking many trips to Kampot town because of it's proximity to my home and because it's really awesome/beautiful/calm. There are many riverside bungalows overrun by expats drinking, eating, and swimming in sheer bliss that I myself would like to occupy.

the lovely river walk in Kampot town




fishing boats heading up the river




a mountainous gradation




I spy a birdie


Vacation number two did not get any photos for many reasons.

Reason #1: I wanted to spare all of my fellow PCV friends the embarrassment of me and my giant camera looking like an extreme tourist.
Reason #2: There are far too many people in Siem Reap. I was worried about theft.
Reason #3: I ran my first half marathon at Angkor Wat and my camera is far too large to lug around while running 21 kilometers. Can you blame me?
Reason #4: I plan on bringing my mama to Siem Reap in which case I don't give a damn if I look like a tourist.

Siem Reap is unlike any place I've seen in Cambodia so far. To be completely honest, it's a tourist trap. And actually, a lot of Khmer people don't even go to Siem Reap because of this. It's a city catered to tourists with more western restaurants, spas, and tacky souvenirs than I thought possible in such a small country. But it's also absolutely beautiful. It's clean, bustling, and filled with beautiful old French Colonial architecture.

My first day was spent indulging and gorging myself on the immediate access to delicious western food. Have you ever eaten mashed pumpkins? Akin to mashed potatoes only SO MUCH BETTER. Those were consumed at a vegetarian restaurant called Singing Tree Cafe. We made our server giggle because we ordered our meal in Khmer. This was probably one of my favorite things to do while in Siem Reap; order my food or drinks in Khmer. Most of the Khmer people that work there speak English because of the massive amounts of tourists that come through. They are definitely not used to barangs speaking Khmer with them. And it impresses a lot of people.

Day two in SR was spent indulging and gorging myself on the immediate access to delicious western food. Yes, similar to that of day one. It was also a day of recovery from the night before and preparation for my first half marathon the next day. Oh yeah, did I mention that I signed up to do my first half marathon ever at Angkor Wat in Siem Reap? I know...pretty cool, huh?

Since I am a responsible adult and kinda a little bit serious about running races, I decided to stay away from the party scene. Instead, I spent my night gallivanting around with my friend Arnoldo. He is truly an amazing spirit. He brings out the dancer in me. We were both running the half marathon at 6:30AM the next day so we decided to have our own kind of fun. This entailed creating what I like to call "visual spectacle" but could also be considered flash mobbing or just causing a scene. We walked down the middle of Pub Street, which is the main tourist crawl, and sporadically busted into dance. We danced to live bands playing in the open air restaurants as well as to the big-bass American pop music being blasted from other restaurants.

There was something in the air that night, the stars so bright - Arnoldo. This photo is from our Thanksgiving feast the previous weekend



Unbelievably (or maybe obviously...?), our dancing caused tourists to stop in their tracks. The tourists created large crowds around us and watched as we improvised our way around with the music. People took photos and videos of us with their iPhones. Old women from Germany danced with us. Other PCVs randomly joined in the spectacle as they walked past us. People cheered and clapped for us once we were too tired and sweaty to dance anymore.

This was the most fun I have had since I've been in Cambodia. I cannot wait to be reunited with Arnoldo to create more spectacles with him.

Our dancing may not have been the best thing to do the day before running a half marathon but it was very worth it. At 5AM the next day, we piled into a tuk-tuk in the darkness and rode to Angkor Wat for an amazing race. None of us felt prepared/well trained to do a half marathon but regardless of this fact, we were ecstatic.

The first half of the race for me was wonderful; I paced myself very well and felt powerful. About 7,000 people from 72 different countries were participating in the race so I was never alone which helped me keep going. At times, I imagined I was running through the woods in Minnesota only the trees were a little more exotic and a lot taller. We passed by villages where we were cheered on by long lines of children offering high-fives and wishing us good luck. Those kids were one of my biggest energy sources throughout the race.

It wasn't until after the 12k mark that I started to feel....crummy. I'm used to my knees being kind of an issue on long runs but never my feet. And my left foot was NOT HAPPY with me. The pain came on suddenly and was so excruciating that I went against my goal of running the entire time. I had to stop and walk. It took me a while to really let go and just walk. I was very determined to stick with my goal but the pain was just too much.

I walked on and off for probably about 5 minutes when all of a sudden an angel ran past me. This French angel woman ran along side me and told me to keep going. I just said "okay" and shuffled my feet into a slog and did my best to keep up with her. My angel's name is Jocelyn, she currently lives in Singapore, and works at a microchip manufacturing company. I told her my foot hurt really bad but she told me to take in the energy and beauty of Angkor Wat. And by simply having her to talk to for a short period of time, I was able to take my mind off of the pain. She eventually ran ahead of me but with her support and my determination to have mind over matter regarding the pain, I kept on trucking.

With about 2k to go (the longest 2k of my life) I ran past elephants and through an amazingly old and corroding temple. And with great relief, Angkor Wat proper reappeared and I finished my race.

When I actually think about it, I did really well for how much I trained. The most I ever ran while training was probably 12k-14k. And this fact only makes me want to get serious and train for real for the next half marathon happening in Sihanoukville in March 2013. We shall see. As I've said before, it's difficult to run in Cambodia...because it's kinda hot.

Oh and I actually did take one photo during vacation number two. I lied when I said I didn't take a single photo.

I took this photo:

7 HOUR BUS RIDE; AIN'T NO THANG.


This photo was taken on my bus ride home from vacation number two. It's not even a good photo (actually, I think it's pretty cool) but it exists so I'm sharing it with you.


Now I'm back home in Tramkok, back to the grind...

Life is pretty sweet.